I feel as though someone has hit the “pause” button. From the birth of my first child, my darling boy, to this very moment; time has been on fast forward. I can barely remember that sweet towheaded little boy, with curls bouncing as he ran on his chubby little legs towards me, arms outstretched. I know that I wrote endless columns in this very paper about our adventures in parenting this delightful boy from tantrums in the Chester Library to singing sweetly to the Disney “Cars” soundtrack in our minivan. Then there was the birth of my precious flower. My sweet, sweet girl came into the world quiet and content. She has since grown to have fiery personality at home (comfort zone) and I am sure she will start sharing it with the public in the near future. Fine with me, I love a headstrong girl.
The reason I feel as though the “pause” button has been hit is because all of a sudden time seems to be standing still. Not a particularly long period of time, but just a moment, long enough for me to catch my breath and take stock in where our lives are now. I often feel that we as humans, and especially parents, do not get the luxury of having a “pause.” I am taking full advantage of this brief moment. I am drinking in my children, listening to them, adoring them, and remembering them for the little people that they used to be.
Remnants of these smaller versions of themselves are still around, my boy still loves to play with Transformers and religiously reads his dinosaur encyclopedia (the one that the binding has lovingly been worn away), his attention to detail has changed from lining up his toy cars in a particular way to organizing his multiple notebooks on his desk. He has gone from singing to Disney soundtracks to loving the Beatles. This summer he is 10 years old. He is caught distinctly between being a responsible young man and being a silly little boy. He has impressed me beyond words this summer with his willingness to help around the house and the initiative he takes when it comes to household chores. He has the kindest heart, and he writes the most wonderful stories and comes up with magnificent characters for these stories, which he then draws in other notebooks. This kid is happy with a Pilot pen and a 17-cent notebook from Target. I adore him. I am so happy that I am able to SEE him right now.
We get so caught up in our lives, babies are a lot of work, toddlers even more so. You continuously put one foot in front of the other as you charge through life thinking, “It will be easier when…..” You know what I mean, when they are potty-trained, when they start school, when they learn to do this, that, and the other. And all through these times, the clock is ticking, the photos are changing, the kids keep getting older, and taller, and before you know it, you are here.
My precious flower, the one with the unruly mop of curls that topped the sweetest face known to man, this little delight has been entertaining her family for years with her theatrics. She is very shy around people that she doesn’t know very well, and I look forward to her sharing these hilarious talents with the public. From toddler days standing on a step stool shouting out the alphabet and every other nursery rhyme at the top of her lungs, to talking in varying accents from around the world; my darling is a born entertainer. She loves to make us laugh, and loves to love us. She is very affectionate, still willing to crawl in my lap, even with her legs dangling close to the floor. Her curly mop has grown into a long, beautiful curtain of shining wavy glory. The little girl curls are gone now in the thickness of her new choice of hairstyle: ponytail all day every day. She is fearless, loving, courageous and cautious at the same time. She adores her big brother, and he is who she looks up to most. My two little people, my favorites, my heart. They grow so quickly, you really do look up one day and think, where did that little boy/girl go? I’m so thankful for this summer, my “pause,” to get to see them now. To get to slow time down for a while as we live, and laugh, and love with each other. It breaks my heart to think about how quickly the next 10 years will go, so I will hold on to them now just a little tighter and pray that time slows down.