Hello and welcome back to the wonderful world of the Dogpound.
As of this writing, the next Democrat presidential debate is just around the corner (Sept. 12). It looks like two dozen have been cut down to a more manageable size of 10. This is not surprising since the top three – Biden, Warren and Sanders – are totaling a combined 70 percent of the poll numbers.
I think many people will watch the debate just to see if Joe Biden generates one of his classic gaffes. He has been on a roll as of late, and I think it would be interesting to look behind the curtains and see how he prepared for this very important debate.
Assistant: “OK, Mr. Biden, the debate is in a few hours. Let’s prepare by going over a few bullet points. Start with your opening statement.”
Biden standing behind a podium: “Thank you ABC for hosting this wonderful event in beautiful downtown Miami.”
Assistant: “Ah, excuse me sir. We are in Houston. Miami was where the last debate was held.”
Biden: “Hey. It is another major Southern city. The audience gets it.”
Assistant: “Of course, sir. Moving on. Talk about your experience.”
Biden, “Unlike my fellow competitors, I have extensive government experience, having served as vice president under President Obama from 2009 through 2019.”
Assistant: “As we discussed before, your term ended January 2017.”
Biden: “I told you I was never that good with math. Besides the audience knows what I meant.”
Assistant: “Yes sir…of course. Now, let’s go over your climate change policy.”
Biden: “We will push to have every house powered by solar power and every car powered by windmills by the year 2020.”
Assistant: “Sir, cars and houses need to be powered by solar power by 2050, not next year.”
Biden: “Both are renewable energies. Right?”
Assistant: “Yes sir, but windmills are too large to put on cars.”
Biden: “Solar…wind…who cares? Just as long as we get off fossil fuels. By the way, make sure they load my private plane with my favorite peanuts and filtered water. We ran out on the last trip. What a pain.”
Assistant: “I have that covered sir. I think you are ready. Just in case, I have prepared these 3-by-5 cards with key notes.”
Biden: “Thanks, Jim.”
Assistant: “I’m Mary.”
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“Be careful of the words you say. Keep them short and sweet. You never know from day to day, which ones you’ll have to eat.” – Dogpound Wisdom
I asked Siri why I was still single. She turned on the front camera.
I can’t do anything with plants. I bought a Venus flytrap and now it’s a vegetarian.
I always thought my neighbors were good people. Then they went and put a password on their Wi-Fi.
“Darn!” the man said to his friend while weighing himself at the local drug store. “I started on a new diet, but the scale says I’m heavier than I was before.” Turning to his friend, he said, “Here, hold my jacket.” The scale still indicated that he had not lost any weight. “OK,” he said to his friend. “Hold my Twinkies.”
That is all I have for today. As always, be good, do good, and remember to measure your words carefully; they can never be taken back.