Hello and welcome back to the wonderful world of the Dogpound, where we are not happy campers. I was supposed to be watching my...

Hello and welcome back to the wonderful world of the Dogpound, where we are not happy campers.

I was supposed to be watching my Buckeyes play Northwestern on TV, but it appears my local station decided that the baseball playoff is more important? Say what? So, I found a radio station on the Internet. It’s not the same, but serves the purpose. To make matters a bit worse, I decided that it would be a good night to have a “cheat night.” I went off my diet and made homemade pizza to eat during the game. The pizza was good, but the game experience was lacking big time.

Another aggravating thing has been the invasion of the zombie gnats. A few weeks ago, I noticed a few gnats flying around, and I tracked them to my trash can. The lid did not close properly, and they were having a party feasting on the leftover tomatoes that I had tossed in from the garden, and they had invited a ton of their friends. I sprayed the can with bug spray and washed it all down with hot water and soap. Then for the next few days I killed the second, third and fourth generations of gnats that somehow managed to escape the gas and soap attack. Despite that cleansing, they still continued to show up around my kitchen sink. I kill a few and I think that must be it, then next day we repeat the process. How many can there be?

Then to add to this aggravation, I have this eye condition where I have these little black floaters that cross my eye on random occasions. When you are hunting gnats, those floaters look just like your prey, and there I am failing away at these imaginary targets, yelling at them, “I will get you the next time, you pesky gnat!” Finally, I realize that I can be swatting all day long and my chances of success are nil. I am sure the surviving gnats were having a good belly laugh at my futile attempts.

“It is not the load that breaks you down, it is how you carry it.”
– Lou Holtz

Toward the end of a particularly trying round of golf, Jack was the picture of frustration. He’d hit too many fat shots. Finally, he blurted out to his caddie, “I’d move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course.” “Try heaven,” replied the caddie. “You’ve already moved most of the earth.”
Two drunken men were driving home. The first started screaming: “Jim, watch out for the wall, watch out for the wall!” Bam! They hit the wall. The next day in the hospital, the first man asked his friend: “You good for nothing, I’ve been screaming for you to watch out, why didn’t you?” Jim answered, “It was you driving!”
One evening I was in a bar talking to my friend. “Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house.”
“Did he get anything?” asked my friend.
“Yes,” I said. “A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home drunk!”
That is all I have right now. As always, be good, do good, play safe, and remember to use your legs to lift that load.

– JR