Hello and welcome back to the wonderful world of the Dogpound. I was born and raised in Ohio, and one of our favorite treats was eating at White Castle – the home of the little square hamburger. We liked them so much that when we lived in Texas our parents used to send them to us as Christmas gifts, and no gift was better received by the whole family. I bring this up because I noticed an article headline that stated a White Castle in Nanuet, N.Y., was being sued; for finding a cockroach in the french fries – nope; for slipping and falling in a spilled drink – nope. It was because a man could not fit in their stationary booths. A 64-year-old man, whose picture shows him about as round as he is tall, wedged himself in a booth where he claimed injury. Yes, forcing himself into table caused some kind of damage to something other than his image. He claims White Castle is in violation of the American’s Disability Act. Hmmmm …wondering if they would be in violation if the New York Knicks basketball team showed up – the lack of leg room might be a bit cramped as well; or if the Big Show from the WWE [ with his 400 pounds of mass] wanted to grab a few sliders, would they be in violation if he broke their booth seats? With that in consideration I came up with a solution: we can set up special areas in all eating establishments based on the descriptions found on most dating sites. It would go like this: Hostess: “Madam. Would you like a seat in the ‘few extra pounds’ section?” She responds, “Of course not. I need to be seated in the ‘average’ section obviously.” Hostess says, “Of course, this way.” Hostess addresses the next couple: “I am sorry, there is a 40-minute wait for the athletic section, but we could get you into the ‘thin’ section.” Wife says, “Come on honey, if we don’t take this we will miss the movie. Remember, we were thin at one time.” Husband says, “Ok. I guess this one time will not kill us.” Of course the other option is they start using a tape measure to make sure the body fits the table. I definitely hope it never comes to that; but lawsuits like this might make that very thing happen, including the necessary little warning sticker on the end of each booth.
Overheard at the restaurant: Son to his dad, “But dad you never let me use the good tools.” Dad responds, “That is why they are still the good tools.”
Want to know where some of your stimulus tax money went? Here is one way to spend it: Orlando-area government job-service Workforce Central Florida said it was spending $70,000 of federal stimulus money to help the laid off workers by handing out 6,000 satiny capes for jobless “super heroes” to fight Dr. Evil Unemployment. Bam! Pow! Unemployment problem is solved.
I am hungry for a White Castle so I am out of here. As always be good, play safe, and remember to careful when you are eating.
JR and Max