Mother’s guilt, we all have it. Whether it’s from driving through the drive-thru once in awhile, becoming “psycho mom” trying to get everyone out the door on time in the mornings or feeling like you are not spending enough time with them, it’s always lurking. We always feel we could be doing more, doing less, doing better. It’s at these times, when we are feeling our lowest, that we should be supporting one another, but usually that is not the case. As I have said before, we women are our own worst enemies.
It doesn’t help that we get criticized from every direction throughout our journey. I hate it when one of the children has a potential ear infection or some other form of contagion and the doctor is always quick to say, “Are they in daycare?” When I answer yes, their rapid response is always, “Well daycare kids always get so and so.” I am sure it’s not meant to make me feel like a bad mother, but guess what, it does. However, I know that if I stayed home all of the time someone would say something about my children’s socialization time. I mean we mother’s just can’t win. If you work you are subjecting them to viruses at daycare and you are a horrible mommy for sending them there and not taking care of them yourself (this is what I hear in my mind) and if you stay home then you are not giving them the social skills that they will need when they start school. Will it never stop?
We mother’s have a hard enough job as it is raising these little wonders. We carry them for nine months (really ten, see they lie to you from the beginning) give birth to them, which is always so pleasant, and then that’s when all of this starts; the bottle or the breast and the guilt and shame that you receive over your personal choice. Then whether you let them sleep in your room or in their own room. Now, let’s move on to daycare vs. staying at home, then they are in their toddler years and you have food choices such as organic or natural – do you let them eat a Cheeto ever?
Once all of that gets somewhat straightened out and they are now sleeping in their own room after leaving yours; have been weaned off of the bottle and are on a steady diet of Nutri-grain bars and fruit snacks, I realize that I will always feel a little guilty. I will feel guilty that I didn’t ignore the woman who gave me the dirty look regarding my child’s snack preference at the playground, guilt over not telling off the doctor regarding the daycare comment and guilt over not shouting at the top of my lungs every day how absolutely wonderful my children are and how blessed I am to be their mother.