Cool trickling water, ice cubes clinking in a glass, waterfalls spraying a fine cool mist, the first crisp morning when you know fall is...

Cool trickling water, ice cubes clinking in a glass, waterfalls spraying a fine cool mist, the first crisp morning when you know fall is approaching; we all could use a little cool-off right about now. I will tell you that I absolutely hate the heat, and this week is horrifying. When the heat index gets above 88 degrees, I’m done. It’s gotten so miserable that my children have turned into whining, blithering, limp-as-a-noodle, fighting-like-cats and dogs monsters. I just can’t stand it any longer. The three of us have spent every waking minute with each other, and of course my nerves, as theirs, are shot. Add 100-plus-degree heat to the mix, and you have pure misery on your hands.

In a moment of clarity, I realized that my darling retired mother could help me with my situation. I gave her the boy for a week. I missed him, oh, how I missed him, but I was beyond delighted not to have to scream like a madwoman at my children for the one thousandth time to stop arguing. They pick and pick and pick at each other, as if it’s a sport and they both want to be the champions. I use my reserve of patience up by 11 a.m. most days, it’s pretty pathetic. At the beginning of the summer the thought of having my children with me every day was so exciting! I miss them terribly during the school day, and now I would have unlimited access to my precious darlings.

Boy was I wrong. I would gladly ship them back off to school right this second just to gain my sanity back. The first week of summer vacation was spent at the beach. Daddy was there, we went to the beach every day (which wore them out) and went to the pier at night to get ice cream and play games of tag with new friends. It was perfect in every way, no reason for whining. Once returning home they went to VBS for the week. Again, days filled with friends and fun. The third week we had fun playing in our backyard pool, making crafts, and going to the library. All bliss left the building after week four.

The days of being together happily have come to an end. Our pool is too hot to swim in; it’s too hot to shove them outside after 2 p.m., and to add to that depression, we have outfitted every window without curtains with blankets to keep the sun (heat) out. We are living in the bat cave right now, seriously. I quickly realized that shipping them off, separately of course, to grandparents was the key to making it through the summer with my sanity and a full head of hair (otherwise I’m pulling it out). As of right now I have sent at least five pleading text messages to my mother to take the precious flower, in all fairness she does deserve a turn with Nani without her brother around (and I deserve a break from arguing again).

To all the mothers and fathers out there toughing it out with the kids in this heat, we only have roughly six more weeks to survive. Then the darlings will be back on that savior of a yellow school bus waving goodbye to their parents, smiling from ear to ear. After all, I’m sure they are just as sick of us!