Hello and welcome back to the wonderful world of the Dogpound. As of this writing the election is still a few days away…and like Christmas…when you read this you will know what Santa put under the Christmas tree. Some of you will be high fiving, some of you will be crying in your beer, and a few of you will be packing your bags for Canada. In either case, we are still one nation under God, the greatest country on this earth, and standing together we will get through the next four years regardless of who is at the helm. In the meantime…I think it only fitting that I help those of you that fit in the latter two categories ..crying and packing [you know who you are]…by trying to lighten your day with a bunch of jokes. I know you will thank me later.
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.”
– William Arthur Ward
COMPARING NOTES
Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died.
Woman No.1: I froze to death. Woman No.2: How horrible! Woman No.1: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? Woman No.2: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. Woman
No.1: So what happened? Woman No.2: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died! Woman No.1: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer. We’d both still be alive.
ERROR
A man goes to get his paycheck and when he opens it, he discovers that his employer has overpaid him by $200. He decides not to tell anybody and keeps quiet. At the end of the following month when he opens his paycheck, he sees that he’s been underpaid by $200.
Fuming, he goes to have it out with his employer. “Sir, I think you’ve made a mistake on my check.” “And how do you figure that?” his employer asks. “It seems I’ve been underpaid by $200.” “So?” “No disrespect sir, but I want my money.” “Last month I overpaid you by $200 and you didn’t complain, so why now?” “Well sir, thing is, I don’t mind if you make a mistake once, but if it becomes a habit, I have to say something.”
OK folks. I have given you my best shot..so the rest is up to you. As always, be good, do good, play safe, and remember; as long as you have your sense of humor, you will be OK.
JR
