Hello and welcome back to the wonderful world of the Dogpound. Hope you had a nice Labor Day weekend. I took the opportunity to go visit my sister and her husband who live in southern, Ohio, in the general area where we grew up. The weather was nice. Traffic was heavy at times but steady. The police, especially in Ohio was out in force to welcome all of the visitors to the Buckeye State. Some drivers were lucky enough to get an autograph to take back home with them. LOL. So after that five-hour drive, I think I deserve a break, and I am going to fill the rest of this article with Smiles and kick back a bit on the deck when I am finished. Drink is not optional!
SMILES
Overheard: “The first date was going well, until she asked me to remove my mask.”
During a medical examination, a doctor asked a man about his physical activity level. He described a typical day this way: “Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk, about 7 miles, through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes, and I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all, I drank eight beers.” Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one heck of an outdoors man!” “No, just a crappy golfer.”
A distraught senior citizen called her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed to me has to be taken for the rest of my life?” “Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition? This prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS’.
A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After two weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family. Since this was a new home, the process took some time. A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show for which tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single line, “Guess who sent them.” The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. On the bare table in the dining room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets: “Now you know!”
Two campers where hiking in the forest when all of a sudden, a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them. Both campers start running for their lives when one of them stops and starts to put on his running shoes. His partner says, “What are you doing? You can’t outrun a bear!” His friend replies, “I don’t have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!”
Well, I hope that put a bit of a spring back in your step for the rest of the day. As always, be good, do good, play safe, and remember, a little humor a day will keep the blues away. God Bless.
JR
