A couple of days ago, I met with a good friend and we chatted on about life, love and family. We talked about the joys and difficulties of relationships, and about how difficult it can be when those dreaded moments arrive, moments that take you out of your comfort zone.
The upcoming holidays this year will certainly take the majority of people out of their comfort zone. One may even feel one’s loyalty towards family is tested. Questions such as …
”Is it safe to gather as we do every year? “
“Will Grandma feel offended if we don’t invite her?”
“Will we ask family members and friends to put on a mask when they come visit?”
These moments will require strength and emotional stamina as one’s values can certainly feel conflicted.
Despite the discomfort, I like to think of these occasions as opportunities. “Why?” … you might ask. Well, because they’re openings for a chance to grow spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. It’s like a butterfly breaking out of its cocoon… difficult, but necessary in order to display its magnificent beauty and fly free for all to admire. These tough moments are chances to test ourselves, times when one hides in despair or courageously chooses to break through the shell, open one’s wings and fly with determination.
When it comes to family, the ability to make a sensible decision can be difficult. This is because emotions can get the best of us. Given this, it’s best to slow down in order to make wise choices. That being said, what steps can you take in order to ensure a wise decision is made? And once that decision is made, how can you manage your thoughts in order to maintain peace and tranquility?
Priorities & Choices
Personal values are a fundamental part of who you are and who you want to be. By becoming more aware of your values, you can use them as a dependable guide to make the best choice in any life circumstance. Some of life’s most important decisions can be made easier by simply establishing what you value the most, what’s most important to you. Based on your values, you are then able to make sound decisions. These are the choices which allow you to live with yourself; because in the end, that is what’s most important.
Limits & Boundaries
Our limitations are mainly determined by past life experiences and/or traumas. On a positive note, limits can change gradually based on positive experiences. With this in mind ask yourself: How can you make this year’s family gathering more positive than prior year’s?
Setting boundaries on the other hand means creating a space between where you end and the other person begins. Depending on your childhood experiences, setting boundaries in relationships may be easier or more difficult. But, why is it so important?
Healthy boundaries are essential because they lead to healthy communication patterns which, in turn, can contribute to less stressful relationships. They also prevent a loss of identity, spiritual, or emotional development. This is important, not only with family members, but with your spouse and friends.
So, if you’re struggling with whether you will have the family physically over for a gathering as you do every year or opt for a virtual gathering, try thinking about the following four words…
Priorities
Choices
Limits
Boundaries
This may help you put things into the proper perspective and aid you in making wise and valiant decisions. Be safe and be well!
