“The amen of nature is always a flower.”
O. W. Holmes
When I first arrived in Virginia, I had the chance to meet a lady who is an avid gardener. She proudly showed me her garden and handed me a remarkable beauty called the passiflora, more commonly known as the passion flower. While admiring it I meditated upon the lessons flowers can teach us about focusing on the self and living each day mindfully.
You might think focusing on yourself is selfish. After all, narcissism has become so prevalent nowadays. Yet what I’m referring to is different from self-absorption or being egocentric. It’s called self-observation or introspection. That being said, how can self-observation benefit you during this time of the year? A season which promotes giving and selflessness while focusing on others. Take a moment to consider the following…
First: Analyzing yourself allows you to compare yourself against YOU.
When interacting with family members or friends, comparisons are almost inevitable. Comparing yourself to others temporarily blinds you of what you can offer to others, robbing you of joy and contentment. 2020 has certainly been a trying year, so how about asking yourself questions such as …How have I grown as a result of this years’ challenges? Introspective questions such as this can enable a greater appreciation of oneself while noticing areas for improvement.
Second: Self-reflection can contribute to improving relationships.
Strained relationships surface during this time of year. Getting to know yourself involves courage, honesty, and hard work. How about asking a close friend or a family member you get along with what they believe your shortcomings are? Or perhaps making your own list of character strengths and weaknesses? Self-analysis helps you develop a greater relationship with yourself – your strengths and shortcomings – which can lead to a greater understanding of others. As the great philosopher Socrates once said “Know thyself.”
Third: Self-awareness leads to greater self-care.
Focusing on yourself allows you to recognize the importance of self-care which in turn prevents you from burning out. Never underestimate the importance of basic things like sleeping, eating, and breathing. Take time to rest, eat nutritious meals, and set some time aside to take deep breaths. Visit a local park, simply walk around your backyard, or pet your dog or cat. Research has repeatedly shown that taking time to practice mindfulness while surrounded by nature can significantly reduce stress. This is of upmost importance if you want to continue being available to others in your life. Self-care is an important ingredient in healthy caregiving.
Flowers don’t compare themselves to one another; they don’t blame the wind for damaging their petals or God for creating them so fragile. They exist and thrive while they have the chance, and when their time comes, they expire ever so gracefully. They accept what is, their strengths and shortcomings, and God continues to cares for them providing sunshine, water and air.
“And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” Matthew 6:28-29
